Hold on tears..

Monday
August 27,2012

We were so excited on our way to the cemetery. Visiting Papa has always been something we always look forward to. As usual we were with a bunch of kids who really loved him as well.

The sad climatic part 

While walking, my younger brother is carrying a bottle of Soda when it suddenly fell off and got broken. We thought that was it, til we saw that he got wounded. The wound was serious that he was rushed to the hospital for some stitching.

Emotional outburst

On our way home, I can't help but think why things like this happen to us. The past few months has been tough. Problems of all sort. And with what happened to my brother,seems like the world is testing our limits to the point that I just wanna break down & cry. I feel like I've been trying my best to fight all these but I am afraid that all of it may be too much for me to bear.

Seeing the light

Coping up, recovering, moving on, standing strong and Holding on to Him. Hope these would be enough.

Good thing, my inner fighter is in constant battle against my tears.


Lord, help us surpass all these tests.

(Joshua 1:9) 

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

In our temporary home

"This is my temporary Home

It's not where I belong

Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through

This was just a stop,on the way To where I'm going

I'm not afraid because I know this was

My temporary home."

I can't help but be emotional upon watching this music video for the first time.
I came to realize that this is how should I view life. 
Nothing is permanent, everything is temporary.
People come and go. Whatever started will eventually end. 

I suddenly remembered my Papa. It's been 5 months since he left but to be honest the pain hasn't changed. Before, I thought that maybe It's not yet his time to go, but looking back I realized he already lived a happy life. He made all of us happy and touched our lives. 
He really was a good father, he's the best and I will miss him..forever :(
I know he's in a better place now, a place where he truly belong. 
He is with our creator.
Someday we will all meet again.
And I am thankful that I was blessed with a father like him, here..  in our temporary home.

I've been trying to write a something about my father, but I always end up crying.So this one's a good sign. I hope matapos ko na yung dedicated blog post ko for Papa.

much love,
jessanel

Nail art love!

Just wanna share my favorite nail art so far. 
It's my first time to try hand painted nail art, my previous were all stickers kasi, so this is really cool!
Can't help but admire 'Pinca', ang galing nya, she just used regular nail polish, no special brushes.
I am totally amazed while watching her doing this, effortless, parang wala lang! How I wish keri ko din to, but you can't have it all, haha =) Well I'm not that artistic lang talaga. 

Anyway, another cute and pink nails - super love :)

I wonder what's next??
hmmmmm 


much love,

jess

Topsy Turvy

adv.
1. With the top downward and the bottom up; upside-down.
2. In or into a state of utter disorder or confusion: "turning our ordered life topsy-turvy" (Anne Tyler).

adj. top·sy-tur·vi·er, top·sy-tur·vi·est
1. Turned or positioned upside down; inverted.
2. Confused or disordered.

Well, the definitions say it all. I am totally in a state of disorder and confusion. 
Move forward or stagnate? Do what I want or do what is right? A lot of questions bugging my mind, and right now I'm having tough time deciding.

I've been into a lot of thinking lately and I've been talking to people who can relate to what I feel. It helps in a way, but in the end it boils down to what is on my mind. 

I always believed that my optimism will take me far. Not giving up easily and seeing the bright side of things. But,reality bites. I just had my wake up call. It will lead me nowhere, or maybe somewhere but not where I wanted and dreamed of. 

Decisions like this makes me sick. 
But then, I have to be brave.
I'm a big girl now.

I'll go for what I want. And I'll chase for it.
I am not afraid. (or maybe a little.. haha)
But hey, God is with me. He will Guide me. 

I can do this.
AJA!


with much love,

Jess